Lily Gene reports to the Grand Wazier

Most Honorable Grand Wazier,


I have been diligently tracking the goings-on of my charge. I'm afraid we may have underestimated how magnificently cunning she could prove to be.

This morning I caught site of her leaving the house with a yoga mat rolled under her arm. She was not going to Yoga, I can assure you, because rolled inside the mat was the contract your assistant and I had so carefully crafted.

I followed her on foot down treacherously narrow alleys where all manner of garbage and offal had to be expertly avoided. Every now and again she'd come to a corner and proceed first to the right, then to the left, as if executing a peculiar dance. But I believe she suspected I could be following her and was attempting to give me the slip. I find this behavior remarkably audacious for a mortal so advanced in years. But, with deference for your diligent training, I am more clever. I borrowed my cousin's dog, Grand Aplomb, who has an excellent nose.

We followed her to an old dark building designed in the 1970's with railroad ties for steps and railings, although I surmise the entire building is built of such. She mounted the stairs to the second story with an impressive flurry of quick noisy steps, and stopped at the door of one Lucius Bates, Esquire. Before entering she looked furtively over both shoulders, then with an 'Umph', I speculate of victorious self-satisfaction, pushed open the door. 

I managed to catch a glimpse of Mister Bates, who sports an underbite that protrudes well past his nose. He is short and stocky and smells of cigars, the scent of which being quite offensive to Grand Aplomb, sent him off to chasing after his own tail. The charge, fortuitously did not notice the commotion, so instantaneously did she become engrossed with making a fuss over the alleged inequities of the contract.

I crouched, just outside the office door, behind a large potted plant, and well within range of the conversation, but due to the disorderly behavior of the dog could only retrieve the following intelligence:

Wherein, I had requested a camel in the event the contract was rescinded, the charge is offering a moped. A pre-owned moped. 

Grand Wazier, I believe said moped is being tendered as inducement to lure me into acceptance of other revisions I was not able to overhear, but of which I am sure I will soon be apprised. I cannot stress enough the necessity to maintain an attitude of alert circumspection during these most delicate of negotiations.

I will, of course, keep you informed of any further developments. 

In the meantime, I am holding up remarkably well thanks to the encouraging presence of my cousin, (who from prior experience assures me the charge is altogether manageable), and the diversionary antics provided by Grand Aplomb.

I, Lily Gene, with all respect submit this report, and, as always, holding you in the highest esteem, remain eternally at your service.