Novice - "a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia"

I know I'm on to something when coincidences pop up.

I want to write about schizophrenia and tell no one. The next morning a friend shares this quote:

"Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia," E. L. Doctorow

Oh, yeah, I'm definitely on to something, only now I'm going in a different direction than I thought.

From Wikipedia - Schizophrenia is a mental disorder often characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to recognize what is real.

Ha! Who wrote that? A woefully inadequate description. Too general. Tell me there isn't a time when you didn't fit this description?

But never mind that. To write is to want to spend much time alone. 

Oh, oh, is she isolating again?  What concerned family would once have whispered at Sunday meals, they now might text to one another.

I crave solitude so I can write. A novice writer has to write a lot. Not everything is publish-worthy, or good, or even worth reading. But writing has to be practiced, and to do it I need time. 

Getting the time is the issue.

It means I have to give up something. What can I cut out of my schedule today? Do I get up earlier and cut sleep? That's the worst choice for me for lack of sleep means I will have a very difficult time recognizing what is real.

Do I skip breakfast? Lunch? Dinner? Skipping meals is purportedly not a good idea, plus can be viewed as abnormal social behavior. 

"What, are you depressed, or are just you too snobby to go to lunch with us?" people might wonder and accuse, as if I could be permanently damaged by reduced social engagement. However, I'm delusional enough to conclude consensual reality is realer than real and trumps it every time. 

Skipping dinner is out of the question - hubby insists we eat together - this I recognize as very real.

What about work? I ask myself. Can I work faster, delegate, quit? If you know anything about me, you know the issues this option could potentially stir up. If you don't, excuse me for not bothering with details here, just know there's a lot of neurotic elements involved. And all in my mind, I admit.

Skipping my solitary daily walks when my mind is free to wander through worlds as yet unseen by the collective? Absolutely not an option!

So, here's what I decide is my solution:

You know all the hours one can spend worrying, re-living betrayal, re-telling friends the injustices - real or imagined - one suffers? This I am tenderly, but with meticulous obsession cutting out like a bad sugar habit. This socially acceptable form of living called normal just has to be ignored and treated like the narcissistic illusion it really is.

It's incredible how many hours I now have freed up to write...and be acceptably schizophrenic.